nate meets isaiah.

So Isaiah has this awesome dad... his name is Gabe. He has an even more awesome heavenly Father!! That kid is blessed. And I'm blessed by him! But Isaiah's biological father's name is Nate, and up until yesterday he and Isaiah had never met. At almost 4 years old Isaiah is still a little young yet to understand any of this, which is why we haven't told him. Gabe will tell him when the time is right. So yesterday we met "our friend Nate" at the mall. The original plan was to meet at the park, but the weather turned awfully cold Saturday so the mall was more fitting. Better a public place like that than, say, our house. That would have been too weird.

Gabe, Sophie, Isaiah, and I waited at the play area for a minute or two. Then Nate walked up- a nervous moment for me for sure! But you know? It really wasn't bad. I guess you could say I had waited for that moment for 4 years, but when the moment was here everything was fine. I had cried a lot off and on the entire day until that point. Let the healing begin! I can't even describe the emotions I was feeling... I hadn't felt them before. Yesterday seemed to mean everything, and nothing all at once. That really doesn't even make sense. But that's how I felt!

Isaiah was having a blast playing (we were at the Cool Springs Mall play area) and he played close to us most of the time. We introduced them. Gabe, Nate, and I just talked. Surprisingly we found things to talk about. No awkward moments. (Well, not too awkward.) Gabe is good at filling in the blanks. I am so thankful he was there!! The first thing Nate said was "Wow, he's so big." And I'm thinking... well he IS almost 4 years old! He's not a newborn anymore.

Sadly, Nate is going through a divorce. His ex-wife never approved of Isaiah. She apparently had some jealousy issues which to this day I cannot understand. But God's timing is absolutely perfect. Nate meeting Isaiah yesterday was perfect.

Gabe has handled all of this so well. He's an amazing man. Nate has said over and over again that he's not trying to come in and take over Gabe's role as dad. He recognizes that Gabe is a wonderful father. I had to leave the two of them for a few minutes to go to the restroom. Later when I found out the conversation they had while I was gone, I was glad I left! Nate really opened up to Gabe and expressed his heartfelt thankfulness to him for being Isaiah's dad. For doing what he could not do. They talked about second chances. They talked about grace. It was really good.

We visited with Nate for over an hour! There are already talks of the next meeting. I don't know when it will happen, but I'm pretty sure it will. Nate observed most of the time. He mentioned he liked to see Isaiah, to hear him talk. I know the Lord is going to use Isaiah to touch his heart.

As great as all of this is, I still feel a bit like it's this extra thing we're doing that I wish we weren't. But this isn't about me, it's about my son who I love so much and would do anything for! It's just hard because my past is my PAST and I'd like to keep it that way... and now here's this thing of the past staring me in the face. But if Nate came to know Jesus through this how amazing would that be?!

I am so thankful to be married to my loving, supportive husband. And I'm thankful for my heavenly Father who holds my family in his arms and doesn't let go. I am struggling with this emotionally right now. I am just trying to process everything. But I know God is in control, so I don't need to worry too much about it- the best is yet to come. Thank you to all who prayed and your continued prayers would be very much appreciated!!